just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water.......

Nothing goes smoothly - does it? We've just been told that the apartment we are in has been let to someone else next week so we have to get out on the weekend. Now we've got to find somewhere else for five weeks, hire a truck, move the stuff to the new place all in three days. We've got deliveries scheduled to come here, all of our mortgage stuff is tied to this place, it is a logistical nightmare. You think hiring a van would be easy - try finding a utility bill when you are living in a serviced apartment with no utilities in your name! I'm upset and no, I don't think it is the hormones, it's just the frustration of all this unneccessary upheaval. I hope I'm not upsetting Blobby :-(

Not so fast!

We thought we were going to be able to get into our house next week so we were pretty surprised (meaning upset and angry) when we heard from our lawyer that the vendor was not ready to complete on the sale until the end of July.  We didn't know what was going on - after all it was the seller's  agent that included 'sale to complete by 30 June' in the memorandum of sale.   Evil thoughts started cramming my brain - was he playing us along while he got a better offer?  That would explain why  another agent was still advertising the house.  Were we going to lose the property after spending $$$ on searches, legal fees, mortgage fees????  48 hours later we were put out of our misery. It turns out that the vendor did not  think for one minute that we would be ready to complete the purchase by the end of June, he'd done NOTHING about planning to move out of the house so we had taken him totally by surprise.  In the end we exchanged contracts (so now we have a binding sale - phew!) with completion not until the end of the July. We're now working on moving in on our wedding anniversary - 4 August.  In the meantime HB starts work in Birmingham so he will be staying in a hotel Mon -Thurs to avoid the 2 hour commute.  We'll hook up on weekends (reunions are always fun!) and skype durng the week.  

Today we popped up to Stratford and picked our carpet and scheduled the carpet fitting = very painless.  We always go with local tradesman now where possible, it always so much easier.  Turns out the carpet people know the estate agent so they can deal with her directly to get access to measure up, saves us being caught in the middle (one less thing to arrange).

Good news on the Blobby front - test results are back and the chances of Blobby having Down Syndrome are virtually non-existent.  Full steam ahead!!!!!!!!!

Blobby's not so blobby anymore!

Today we had an ultrasound and what a difference a few weeks makes! There is definitely a little person growing. Usual emotional reaction from me, particularly when I heard the heartbeat for the first time. A big difference for HB. He last saw Blobby at six weeks when he was nothing more than a mass of cells with a flutter for a heartbeat. Today Blobby had the hiccups, his arms were waving around and his legs kicking about, that was one active little baby!

So, introducing to the world...... Blobby!

Should I get a wheelchair????

We spent the weekend with HB's family (Ma, Pa, Andy and Jules) and had a great time.   

Ma and Pa (the grandparents-to- be) gave us Blobby's  very first soft toy for the nursery, a baby 'Nala' from the Lion King.  The Lion King has a special place as we surprised Ma and Pa with show tickets in London some years ago followed by some very flavorsome (and potent) cocktails!

On Saturday we  all headed out for a game of golf (just for fun at the Bath Approach Course) followed by a little kick around with a football.  That's when I started to wonder whether I was simply pregnant or burdened with some debilitating condition that robs me of the ability to function as a slightly active adult.  Some of the comments: 'Make sure you swing gently"; "Take it easy walking up the slope"  "Be careful" (when you lightly kick the ball!)  I couldn't help but laugh at every well meaning comment, I do think this is going to be a standing joke in the family now.  It even continued when we got home - did I need to sit on the kitchen chair that had the cushion? Even Andy and Jules slept the night on cushions from the sofa while HB and I had the spare bed- all because I was pregnant!!  Next time, it's our turn for the floor!   

Home...and home!

Back in England now, the flight back was not so bad as the one going over although my ankles are rather unattractively swollen. Wonderful to be back with HB. Now I'm past the 12 week mark he wrote to one of his friends from his old company in the US to let them know we were expecting and was soon innudated with well wishes from everyone there. What a great bunch of people and a great company, he will really miss them :-(

Yesterday we signed the contracts on our new home and were high fiving each other all the way back to Windsor. If all goes well we'll be in the house by the end of the month. I can't wait. We feel so unsettled and unable to really move forward, having our new home will really be a huge boost to us both (then we can get on with planning all of our DIY jobs for the next 12 months - like we don't have enough on our plates already!).

Last night was some catch up with some of my old work colleagues. Again, we were blown away with how happy people were for us, and loving the advice we are getting. Who needs books when there is a giant resource out there called friends!

Instant fat

How is it that a pair of trousers you can do up one day, can't be done up the next? That's what happened last weekend. By Sunday, none of the trousers that I had packed for my US trip could be zipped and buttoned. The result was me walking around a shopping mall with my trousers undone and belly hanging out. Now I know that some younger girls kind of like that look, but it really wasn't for me. I did my best to hide it under a big t shirt, but boy was I uncomfortable. So, we're in the outlet mall & we stumble across a maternity shop. For some inexplicable reason, I did not want to go in and had to be cajoled by 'E' to get in there. Maybe I thought it was too early to be shopping for maternity clothes, after all, I wasn't really showing. I was given instructions by 'E' - get into the changing room, and no whinging about any clothing selections she would make for me, just shut up and try on. She came LOADED with things to try on. It was then I discovered that maternity trousers are THE MOST COMFORTABLE THINGS EVER INVENTED!!!! In fact, why do you even need to be pregnant to wear them? Suddenly, my shopping day became very successful. Thanks 'E'!

The end of the shots

Relief at last! After more than 160 of those bad boys the progesterone shots have finally come to an end! I never thought that day would come and I doubt whether my behind will ever be the same again. Still, ending those comes with the loss of a safety net. Again the negative thoughts - what if the only reason I'm able to maintain this pregnancy is the hormone supplements? Well its been a few days and nothing eventful.

I've flown back to the US for work. 10 hours & 30 minutes of hell. I didn't realise how much I had relied on a couple of glasses of wine or some over the counter sleep aids to knock the edges of the trip. I'm not looking forward to the return trip, I hate the overnight flights.

Today is my birthday, and I wish HB was here. But I did get a call and a text from him which is a great start to the day. I also got a happy birthday song from him and the Lucas family on their boat, somewhere near a pub, somewhere in England.

Where we've been.......

I'm married to the most amazing man in the world - my 'HB'. We have one dog Rosie. Infertility has dominated our lives for years. In 2006 we started down the IVF path using donor eggs. Two unsuccessful attempts in 2007. After the first go I was devastated - I was sure this was going to be the answer to everything. My Doctor said it was simply a numbers game, try enough and eventually we'll hit the jackpot. But this was like putting a huge whack of money on 'red' and watching 'black' keep hitting (I kind of know what that feels like - 12 times in a row it happened to us in Monte Carlo Casino!) Our remaining frosties didn't survive so a third attempt fell by the wayside.

Wonderful HB wanted to give it another shot, telling me this on day one of our vacation in Puerta Vallarta. For once in our lives we had the money, if we couldn't spend it on trying everything to fulfill our dreams what could we spend it on! I don't know whether I'd ever loved him more (well actually I love him more everyday - schmaltzy but true!)

Our first choice donor didn't work out - failed her psych screening (that's what screening is for!) The second donor selected was a match and so we went on the roller coaster again.

March 27th 2008 was the date of transfer. April 8th I did a home pregnancy test with a big fat negative result. For the next two days having progesterone shots in the butt seemed even more painful than usual. On April 10th the call from the clinic came - this was the call that I never ever thought I would hear - we were pregnant. I burst into tears and HB came towards me with 'It's OK honey, we can try again' look. Through the tears I blubbered 'But you don't understand, it's positive!' Through the tears (both of us!) and shock I managed to get coherent enough to understand that I needed another blood test in two days to check the HCG levels were progressing. Somehow, it didn't sink in properly.

Two days later I have another blood test and get the results to find out the HCG levels are increasing fabulously. Wow. Next step is to come in at six weeks for an early Ultrasound, this is when I had my first lesson in milestones in pregnancy, I truly did not have a clue how any of this worked and I now found out that six weeks pregnant was only a week and a half away!

Small problem then - we were in the process of moving back to the UK from the US, the 6th week would be while we were in the air. Also, progesterone and estradiol will be needed - enough for the next twelve weeks & it needed to be ordered in asap so we could take it with us. All was sorted out and I scheduled my ultrasound for the morning of our departure.

April 23rd and we have the ultrasound - I am blown away, I have had so many ultrasounds during our IF treatment, it always just looks like nothing to me, but this time, well this time was so obviously and amazingly different because right there in the middle was this large dark circle with blurry bits inside it - that's never been there before!!!! The Doc pointed out the fluttering heartbeat and there I was in floods of tears again. HB was beaming!

And so we left to go to the airport, finishing up our three years in the US and leaving with the most unbelievable of gifts. We checked our luggage and our dog in (Rosie travelled with us from the UK originally and now was returning with us) and I started to get paranoid about carry syringes onto a plane (we had a Doctors note but still was worried) All went well, the flight was uneventful and a big thank you to the Air Stwerdess who curtained off an area so I could drop my pants and have HB inject my butt in the middle of a full 747!

Arrival in the UK was not so uneventful. Our paperwork was not in order for Rosie and she was to be sent to quarantine for 3 months. She was immunized against Rabies and had continually been since before leaving the UK. She had a blood test to show the vaccine levels were sufficient but the blood test needed to be 6 months before travelling (ours had been 3 months before) Didn't these government people know I was pregnant and had hormones raging out of control and that this sort of upset was not what I needed 'in my condition'!!!!!!! Tears didn't work and there was nothing we could do. It put a real downer on our homecoming!

Next step was to break the news to the HBs Mum and Dad about Rosie (who they were going to dog-sit) and the pregnancy. I think the shock of it all was too much - I don't think they registered any of it! It's OK, plenty of time for everything to sink in over the coming months.

So what do I do next with the pregnancy? For those from the UK you would have an understanding of the NHS, you'd know that I have to register. Problem is we're living in Windsor temporarily and will be moving to Warwick during summer. I can't register with the doctors and midwife in Warwick who will be there when the baby arrives - because we don't live there yet! Now I'm feeling really alone. I don't know what to do. I don't even 'feel' pregnant. What if it has stopped? After all, even though I know the egg comes from a 21yo I'm still in my forties and have never been pregnant before. Maybe I can't carry a child? Why is it that the questions that run through my mind are all negative worst case scenarios?????

Fortunately the NHS came through. I registered as a temporary patient in Windsor. I was able to see a midwife straightaway. They let me talk about all of my concerns and were fabulously reassuring. They also recommended another ultrasound - just to be sure!

So on May 16 (9 weeks) I had another ultrasound and there was Blobby, bigger and better than before with a belting heartbeat, right size, right place - picture perfect. Well not actually picture perfect, once again I was blubbering so much the sonographer couldn't get a decent picture because of my heaving sobs.

From that time all has been pretty unventful. HB and I are waiting with baited breath to complete on the purchase of our house. And I've started this blog. So the next entries are going to be shorter, I want to try and capture what I am feeling and thinking. I'm not very good at this sort of thing having never been able to keep a diary or the like, but let's see how we go. So that's where we've been..... heres to where we are going!