Are we there yet?

Two and a half weeks to go till the due date!!! OMG.

Suddenly it's all become a little harder- moving around, doing things just requires so much more effort. My blood pressure continues to be very erratic but it least the elevations aren't constant. I think we have everything now (probably too much to be honest). The pram arrives tomorrow so I've got some practice time on that. I'm still to master the baby carrier although Nellie assures me that once mastered it becomes second nature.

I've been quite teary the last few days - guess the hormones are going into overdrive. I'm really missing my Mum and Dad even though both have been gone for many years, not to mention my Nan. Dad never got to see any of us married off let alone have kids, Mum got to see her first three grandchildren. Had my MIL and FIL up for the last few days, they are lovely but there is still a void whre my parents should be. I hope they are watching from somewhere!

There is so much anticipation, which is bringing with it so much self doubt. Everyone tells you that you that you will manage but again it doesn't stop the negative thoughts arising - the 'what ifs?' What if I can't cope, what if it drives a wedge in mine and HBs relationship. I've been to my first Bumps and Babes session. I sat wide eyed watching these women with their babies (6-22 weeks) so confident and at ease with the little creatures wondering if that will ever be me! But like a true Gemini there is the other side of me that spends time imagining how wonderful everything is going to be, watching Blobby grow up, totally different family holidays, seeing Blobby with HB (my favourite daydream is imagining HB's face when he holds Blobby for the first time!)

Last week I had a very nice day of indulgence. In the morning i went to the spa and had a facial and makeup put on. In the afternoon HB had arranged for a photographer to come to the house to take some shots of my belly. We'd tried but the result weren't very good (a combination of the subject - me, and HB's skills a s a photographer!) Should get the results this week. It was important to me to capture this - I've loved being pregnant and I wanted to memorialise it while I could - it won't happen again!

I've also been going to the pool to do some stretching in the water - it's amazing how much the water helps - it's the only place you can move around and be totally comfortable. I just hope the blood pressure behaves itself so that I can labour in water.

So - will Blobby be early, late or on time? I can't help but think it will be slightly early, but hopefully only slightly! I've got Christmas to arrange. And I can't even contemplate him being late - that will really mess up all of the planning! But really, there is only one thing I can be 100% sure of, and that is I have absolutely no control over when Blobby will choose to make an appearance so worrying about messing up plans, is a waste of a worry!

6 weeks to go

So much has been going on in the last few weeks and reality is finally dawning. Next month we're having a baby - AAAARGGHHHHHH!!

We've been going to the National Childbirth Turst Ante Natal classes. They've been great but really underlined how little I know. We've gone through the stages of labour, pain relief (very important!), bonding with the baby, interventions, breatsfeeding, how to change nappies - all sorts of things. There are another five couples on the course all from the local area and all are very nice. Today is our last session after which we're all off to the pub!

My idea of delivery has changed so much over the last few months, knowledge really is power amd I was very ignorant beforehand. I still am to a great extent but I really feel we are in a better place to make informed decisons now than what we were a few months ago.

So what would be the perfect delivery for us?? We'd start with a tens machine at home for pain relief when labour kicks in and then ideally end up having a water birth using gas and air for pain relief. Now that's in a perfect world. The one thing we have learned is that ANYTHING can happen and you've got to go with the flow and be prepared to change. Being too set in what you want can lead to bad birth experiences if it all doesn't go according to your meticulous planning, and lets face it, a million things could affect how things play out.

I've had to go to hospital for monitoring and assessment a couple of times now - my age is starting to impact I think. I've had a couple of pretty high blood pressure readings and other early signs of pre-eclampsia so its time to take things easy.

I finish up work on Monday which will be both a relief and a worry. I've got a great team handling things and everything will be OK, I just feel a bit guilty about some of them not only having to carry on with their own jobs but take on my responsibilities too. We've been planning it for a while although it still feels like I'm leaving everyone in the lurch, but some things are simply more important.

Poor HB has had to put up with me being a miserable cow over the last week or so. Things turned quite uncomfortable for me over the weekend - particularly as Blobby decided to use my bladder as a trampoline which made walking and standing up very difficult. Add some constipation and wind to that and I wasn't exactly a joy to be around. Note to self - must try harder not to provide HB with an ongoing list of niggles, it just comes across as whinging and he will be having doubts that I am going to be able handle the really big pain (I don't have trouble handling pain, I just talk about it). Having said that, he took to bed with man flu (had a headache and was feeling funny) this week so I was able to nurse him like all good wives do - I wouldn't have it any other way!

Time is whizzing by!

Where has the year gone????
I can't believe we are in October, I don't know where the year has gone. This long awaited pregnancy will be over before I know it!

Everything is going really well. All my tests have been good with the best news being - no diabetes! With the family history of gestational and 'regular' diabetes I would have put money on developing that but all is clear.

It seems Blobby is going to be a tall one, just like his dad! Currently measuring at the high end of the scale - I hope that doesn't translate into painful delivery!

We've started to pull together odds and ends. Going shopping for prams has been quite funny. Our first visit to a department store and I thought there had been a tear in the time space continuum and we'd ended up on some alien planet or distant land. Did not understand a single word the sales assistant was saying - we were really underprepared! We've managed to master the jargon and concepts now so the big purchases will be happening soon. Every time we go looking at prams etc, HB is like a kid in a candy store with the toys and has bought something 'really cool' each time we've been there.

I was away at a conference this week. It's amazing how being obviously pregnant enables people who you've never met before to suddenly have something in common with you and something to talk about. I've got to say though, some comments were a bit disconcerting, especially the women who, in response to asking about my due date, responded 'so it can happen anytime then!' Terrifying - so much to do at work, so much to get ready for Christmas and for Blobby. We've finally started to realise perhaps I should be carrying the Labour Ward telephone number with me, and maybe it's not too early to get the hospital bag ready!

25 weeks - I look preggers!

Well the pot belly is really starting to show now. I look pregnant and with Blobby jumping around so much I very definitely feel pregnant! I'm really enjoying this middle trimester although I've been suffering a little bit with wind - belching enough to fill the goodyear blimp!!! Nice.

I've registered with the local Doctors so I'm feeling that everything is on track now. All tests are good. I'll have the glucose tolerance test for diabetes in a couple of weeks.

I read some articles in the newspapers here that really got me riled up. A woman is suing the NHS because she was on their waiting list for IVF for six years and when her turn came she was 'shocked' to learn that her eggs were too old. Now she been 'denied the right' to have her own genetic child and been 'forced' to have a baby using a donor egg. Her son was born last week, and although she 'loves him' she, and I quote, "can't help but feel bitter I have been cheated out of" having a genetic baby. I was flabbergasted. Blobby is wanted and loved and will be ours totally! He is not genetically related to me - so what??? He wouldn't be growing without me & there's no risk of the issues associated with me being old, such as down syndrome. He'll come into the world and he will have our unconditional love. And we will tell him how he came about from the earliest opportunity so he will know how much he was wanted and how very grateful we are. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blobby gets active

Well I can finally feel him!!!.I'd been having twinges and things and wasn't sure whether it was Blobby or not, but when it comes, there's no mistaking it. Blobby has been playing fun and games with HB, he'd go all active and then when HB would feel, it was 'radio silence' Looks like a baby is never too early to play hide and seek! HB finally felt a little flutter so now he knows I'm not making it up!

We had our wedding anniversary too - a little bit different from past anniversaries (The Ivy in London, New Forest, France, Cabo San Lucas, The Grand Canyon and Vegas and Puerta Vallarta) This time we were both at work and then we were getting ready for the delivery of our furniture. HB surprised me by breaking our rule of 'no Blobby purchases until the third trimester' by producing an eight piece baby ensemble. He also gave me a t-shirt that says "Does my Bump look big in this?" Cool!

All of our furniture is moved in now and we are starting to feel more settled. We're really happy in our new house, it has such a nice feel to it. My favourite things are the dining room, our sofa and our bed (soooooooooo comfortable!)

Visitors on the weekend (Dom, Craig & Samuel) Our first toddler in the house and I think it all went very well (every bit of experience helps I guess) I thought I would makes things nice and safe for Samuel by going out to buy some stair gates so I went to the nearest 'Mothercare' shop. Closest thing I've had to a panic attack!! It was all too much for me, so much stuff, I turned and ran out without buying a thing. Guess I'm not quite ready for that yet, at least without support anyway!

Had another Ultrasound last week and all is very well. Everything is OK and Blobby was jumping around. Photos weren't as good though this time around but he sure looked great up on the screen. Potential for a ceasarian - the placenta is lying low so we'll keep an eye on that. No big deal though as it may also move upwards as Blobby develops. Finally getting to register with local doctors and midwife so we can start properly planning. Scary - I'm 22 and a half weeks pregnant - who'd have though eh?

Catching up to July 30th

So it’s been a little while since my last blog - but what a couple of weeks!!! This is a bunch of stuff I wrote while I was without internet access. More updates to come.

A flying trip to the US - there and back for four days. Trip was uneventful but a bit of shopping done while I was there. I managed to lose a new pair of sunglasses within one day of purchase. HB had prepared the shopping list, including specifying that I need “1 x pr maternity jeans; 1 x pr maternity work trousers” Quite funny really. All who hadn’t seen me for a few weeks in the States commented that I looked really well and pregnancy suited me (it would want to - I waited long enough for it!!!!!)

Arrived back in the UK on July 25, what a great day! We completed the purchase of our house at 10.00am. At last we could start getting on with our lives. Next step - picking up Rosie! We collected her from quarantine and went straight to a park. we were a bit worried she would have lost a lot of her discipline (plus the fact that she hadn’t been able to run free in a park in the US for three years) five minutes out of jail and she was back to her old self, we were so happy! It was tome for her now to be reunited with HB’s mum and dad, (also known as Rosie’s grandparents). With the moving and everything to organise, keeping her with us would have been even more unsettling for her, so we headed off to Hungerford where we met Ma and Pa and went for a nice pub meal in the country. Rosie was really and truly back to her old self, playing catch with a ball and then stretching out on the grass under the table as we ate; her doggy smile was back!

Then it was back to Windsor for us and packing up the flat. Saturday morning we hired a truck and headed off with our boxes to our new home (we did manage to have a non-airconditioned truck on what was the hottest day of the year to date!) It was so exciting arriving. I was a bit apprehensive, I’d only been in the house twice and was nervous that it wouldn’t live up to my memory of it. It was hard for us both not to go running from room to room like kids on Christmas day, we tried desperately hard to be grown up about it and failed miserably - big grins were in abundant supply!

We’d decided that we’d just unpack our boxes to the garage and then head back to Windsor to take the truck back - our first night in the house would be on Sunday. By the time we got back it was 7.00 so fish and chips in order. We were up at first light to get back because all we wanted to do was get on with it!

Sunday was spent shopping and cleaning - not much to clean really but just part of making the house our own. The kitchen was much nicer and bigger than we remembered which was a bonus. Of course our first night in the house would not have been complete without a bottle of bubbly, once again we rolled of the Veuve Cliquot to celebrate a momentous occasion in our life together.

Monday was the start of a truly manic week. Brian the painter arrived at 7.30 (7am every day since). We were having the whole house repainted internally. The hard part was arranging the painter round the other things that were organized (carpet laying, telephone techs etc) Brian has been decorating houes since Adam was a boy, he sure has some stories!

All of the neighbours have been dropping in, everyone is SO friendly!!! Anything we need just give a holler.

One downside is lack of internet connectivity - it is like having our arms and legs cut off. I’m working from my smartphone and then ducking into the nearest town when I need to send of documents. A real pain but fingers crossed all will be resolved by the beginning of next week. It took us a few days but we finally got the phones sorted out, what BT couldn’t/wouldn’t fix, a terrific local couple (Paul and Wendy) fixed and tidied for us.

HB’s main priority was making sure he could run his speaker cables under the carpet so Thursday night was spent on our hands and knees on the concrete floor taping the cable down. The boards that the carpet tacks to were already down, if I pricked my hand once I must have done it ten times, but is was worth it as now the carpet is laid over the cables and HB will be a happy chappy!

The garden is going to be awesome. It’s pretty overgrown at the moment, lets face it, who wants to spend time in the garden weeding and doing maintenance when they are selling the house and have another thousand things to think about. But Guy, the previous owner was kind enough to leave us with a bunch of local contacts so we have already arranged for someone to come in and get on top of the grass, weeds and overgrown trees & plants. That will mean when we do finally start playing/working in the garden we will be improving it rather than just trying to get on top of it.

Only a few more rooms to do insofar as painting and carpeting, its like a new house! Watching it transform has been exciting, all the time I can’t help thinking what a fantastic place for Blobby to grow up in! I think back to when HB and I moved into our first home together in Haslemere. Weeks spent doing DIY - ugh (it’s the only time we ever really fight is when we do DIY!) There is no way we would have got through so much in our first week if we were doing this ourselves. We really are very fortunate to be in a position to do it this way (thank you stock options!)

Busy Busy + a wedding!

So much has been going on I wonder when it will all slow down!

After writing last week about the doctor's little ultrasound machine (aka 'the thingy') HB sent me an Amazon link to personal ultrasound devices. I ordered one and lo and behold, the thing works! Now if I am having doubts I can whip it out and listen to Blobby. It even has two headsets so HB can listen along. Must not get obsessed!!!!

The house is still progressing, HB went and had a look again last week. Now we are busy drawing floorplans making sure everything will fit. Should be ours next week fingers crossed. I really feel like we can start to settle down once we have the house, maybe HB and I will actually start talking about other things then too, we may even say Good Morning to each other before we launch into the latest house thing we've been thinking about.

Last week HB's brother Andy finally proposed to Jules. Very romantic proposal in the shadow of Edinburgh Castle. Now we've got not one, but two weddings to look forward to as they will have a wedding in the UK and another in Kazakhstan, too exciting. We went to see them on the weekend to celebrate, but even with all the excitement of their engagement Andy and Jules still managed to have excitement left over for Blobby giving us our first cute piece of Blobby clothing - they said they couldn't hold out any longer :-) While we were at their place we finally went for our first walk in the British countryside with a wander through some local woods. It was really nice and all I could think of was how much Rosie was going to love it once she gets out of dog jail, which is finally approaching. Only a week and a half to go.

Doctors visit today and everything is hunky dory - good sugar levels, blood pressure & weight gain. And I am nowhere near as scared now prior to doctors visits, who'd have thought - this is really happening!!!!!!

New move, new niece and a heartbeat!

Grace Arena came into the world on 27 June weighing 6lb 8oz, a new niece for us, sister for Charlie and Nate and 3rd addition for Nellie and Vince. Now I have one niece and one nephew who I've never met!!!!!! Spoke to Nellie afterwards and she sounded great, her first natural delivery after two previous c-sections. No drugs - just gas - wow!

Finally got an apartment sorted, we moved on Friday and HB worked like a thousand men. I was useless, wasn't supposed to lift any of the boxes. As a reward I served as HB's beer wench for the evening, it was the least I could do. The new place is actually more comfortable with better internet and more important SKY TV!

Friday morning I went to the doctors for a 15 week checkup. I was relieved and surprised when my blood pressure was good - if ever there was a week when it should have been up, then this one was it. Everything else was fine and I was pleasantly surprised when the Dr whipped out a thingy (technical term!) that let me hear Blobby's heartbeat. Whew, more reassurance that everything is still ticking along. Wouldn't it be nice to get one of those thingys at home, whenever the evil thoughts creep in I could bring it out and listen and peace of mind will be delivered. Must look into that.

just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water.......

Nothing goes smoothly - does it? We've just been told that the apartment we are in has been let to someone else next week so we have to get out on the weekend. Now we've got to find somewhere else for five weeks, hire a truck, move the stuff to the new place all in three days. We've got deliveries scheduled to come here, all of our mortgage stuff is tied to this place, it is a logistical nightmare. You think hiring a van would be easy - try finding a utility bill when you are living in a serviced apartment with no utilities in your name! I'm upset and no, I don't think it is the hormones, it's just the frustration of all this unneccessary upheaval. I hope I'm not upsetting Blobby :-(

Not so fast!

We thought we were going to be able to get into our house next week so we were pretty surprised (meaning upset and angry) when we heard from our lawyer that the vendor was not ready to complete on the sale until the end of July.  We didn't know what was going on - after all it was the seller's  agent that included 'sale to complete by 30 June' in the memorandum of sale.   Evil thoughts started cramming my brain - was he playing us along while he got a better offer?  That would explain why  another agent was still advertising the house.  Were we going to lose the property after spending $$$ on searches, legal fees, mortgage fees????  48 hours later we were put out of our misery. It turns out that the vendor did not  think for one minute that we would be ready to complete the purchase by the end of June, he'd done NOTHING about planning to move out of the house so we had taken him totally by surprise.  In the end we exchanged contracts (so now we have a binding sale - phew!) with completion not until the end of the July. We're now working on moving in on our wedding anniversary - 4 August.  In the meantime HB starts work in Birmingham so he will be staying in a hotel Mon -Thurs to avoid the 2 hour commute.  We'll hook up on weekends (reunions are always fun!) and skype durng the week.  

Today we popped up to Stratford and picked our carpet and scheduled the carpet fitting = very painless.  We always go with local tradesman now where possible, it always so much easier.  Turns out the carpet people know the estate agent so they can deal with her directly to get access to measure up, saves us being caught in the middle (one less thing to arrange).

Good news on the Blobby front - test results are back and the chances of Blobby having Down Syndrome are virtually non-existent.  Full steam ahead!!!!!!!!!

Blobby's not so blobby anymore!

Today we had an ultrasound and what a difference a few weeks makes! There is definitely a little person growing. Usual emotional reaction from me, particularly when I heard the heartbeat for the first time. A big difference for HB. He last saw Blobby at six weeks when he was nothing more than a mass of cells with a flutter for a heartbeat. Today Blobby had the hiccups, his arms were waving around and his legs kicking about, that was one active little baby!

So, introducing to the world...... Blobby!

Should I get a wheelchair????

We spent the weekend with HB's family (Ma, Pa, Andy and Jules) and had a great time.   

Ma and Pa (the grandparents-to- be) gave us Blobby's  very first soft toy for the nursery, a baby 'Nala' from the Lion King.  The Lion King has a special place as we surprised Ma and Pa with show tickets in London some years ago followed by some very flavorsome (and potent) cocktails!

On Saturday we  all headed out for a game of golf (just for fun at the Bath Approach Course) followed by a little kick around with a football.  That's when I started to wonder whether I was simply pregnant or burdened with some debilitating condition that robs me of the ability to function as a slightly active adult.  Some of the comments: 'Make sure you swing gently"; "Take it easy walking up the slope"  "Be careful" (when you lightly kick the ball!)  I couldn't help but laugh at every well meaning comment, I do think this is going to be a standing joke in the family now.  It even continued when we got home - did I need to sit on the kitchen chair that had the cushion? Even Andy and Jules slept the night on cushions from the sofa while HB and I had the spare bed- all because I was pregnant!!  Next time, it's our turn for the floor!   

Home...and home!

Back in England now, the flight back was not so bad as the one going over although my ankles are rather unattractively swollen. Wonderful to be back with HB. Now I'm past the 12 week mark he wrote to one of his friends from his old company in the US to let them know we were expecting and was soon innudated with well wishes from everyone there. What a great bunch of people and a great company, he will really miss them :-(

Yesterday we signed the contracts on our new home and were high fiving each other all the way back to Windsor. If all goes well we'll be in the house by the end of the month. I can't wait. We feel so unsettled and unable to really move forward, having our new home will really be a huge boost to us both (then we can get on with planning all of our DIY jobs for the next 12 months - like we don't have enough on our plates already!).

Last night was some catch up with some of my old work colleagues. Again, we were blown away with how happy people were for us, and loving the advice we are getting. Who needs books when there is a giant resource out there called friends!

Instant fat

How is it that a pair of trousers you can do up one day, can't be done up the next? That's what happened last weekend. By Sunday, none of the trousers that I had packed for my US trip could be zipped and buttoned. The result was me walking around a shopping mall with my trousers undone and belly hanging out. Now I know that some younger girls kind of like that look, but it really wasn't for me. I did my best to hide it under a big t shirt, but boy was I uncomfortable. So, we're in the outlet mall & we stumble across a maternity shop. For some inexplicable reason, I did not want to go in and had to be cajoled by 'E' to get in there. Maybe I thought it was too early to be shopping for maternity clothes, after all, I wasn't really showing. I was given instructions by 'E' - get into the changing room, and no whinging about any clothing selections she would make for me, just shut up and try on. She came LOADED with things to try on. It was then I discovered that maternity trousers are THE MOST COMFORTABLE THINGS EVER INVENTED!!!! In fact, why do you even need to be pregnant to wear them? Suddenly, my shopping day became very successful. Thanks 'E'!

The end of the shots

Relief at last! After more than 160 of those bad boys the progesterone shots have finally come to an end! I never thought that day would come and I doubt whether my behind will ever be the same again. Still, ending those comes with the loss of a safety net. Again the negative thoughts - what if the only reason I'm able to maintain this pregnancy is the hormone supplements? Well its been a few days and nothing eventful.

I've flown back to the US for work. 10 hours & 30 minutes of hell. I didn't realise how much I had relied on a couple of glasses of wine or some over the counter sleep aids to knock the edges of the trip. I'm not looking forward to the return trip, I hate the overnight flights.

Today is my birthday, and I wish HB was here. But I did get a call and a text from him which is a great start to the day. I also got a happy birthday song from him and the Lucas family on their boat, somewhere near a pub, somewhere in England.

Where we've been.......

I'm married to the most amazing man in the world - my 'HB'. We have one dog Rosie. Infertility has dominated our lives for years. In 2006 we started down the IVF path using donor eggs. Two unsuccessful attempts in 2007. After the first go I was devastated - I was sure this was going to be the answer to everything. My Doctor said it was simply a numbers game, try enough and eventually we'll hit the jackpot. But this was like putting a huge whack of money on 'red' and watching 'black' keep hitting (I kind of know what that feels like - 12 times in a row it happened to us in Monte Carlo Casino!) Our remaining frosties didn't survive so a third attempt fell by the wayside.

Wonderful HB wanted to give it another shot, telling me this on day one of our vacation in Puerta Vallarta. For once in our lives we had the money, if we couldn't spend it on trying everything to fulfill our dreams what could we spend it on! I don't know whether I'd ever loved him more (well actually I love him more everyday - schmaltzy but true!)

Our first choice donor didn't work out - failed her psych screening (that's what screening is for!) The second donor selected was a match and so we went on the roller coaster again.

March 27th 2008 was the date of transfer. April 8th I did a home pregnancy test with a big fat negative result. For the next two days having progesterone shots in the butt seemed even more painful than usual. On April 10th the call from the clinic came - this was the call that I never ever thought I would hear - we were pregnant. I burst into tears and HB came towards me with 'It's OK honey, we can try again' look. Through the tears I blubbered 'But you don't understand, it's positive!' Through the tears (both of us!) and shock I managed to get coherent enough to understand that I needed another blood test in two days to check the HCG levels were progressing. Somehow, it didn't sink in properly.

Two days later I have another blood test and get the results to find out the HCG levels are increasing fabulously. Wow. Next step is to come in at six weeks for an early Ultrasound, this is when I had my first lesson in milestones in pregnancy, I truly did not have a clue how any of this worked and I now found out that six weeks pregnant was only a week and a half away!

Small problem then - we were in the process of moving back to the UK from the US, the 6th week would be while we were in the air. Also, progesterone and estradiol will be needed - enough for the next twelve weeks & it needed to be ordered in asap so we could take it with us. All was sorted out and I scheduled my ultrasound for the morning of our departure.

April 23rd and we have the ultrasound - I am blown away, I have had so many ultrasounds during our IF treatment, it always just looks like nothing to me, but this time, well this time was so obviously and amazingly different because right there in the middle was this large dark circle with blurry bits inside it - that's never been there before!!!! The Doc pointed out the fluttering heartbeat and there I was in floods of tears again. HB was beaming!

And so we left to go to the airport, finishing up our three years in the US and leaving with the most unbelievable of gifts. We checked our luggage and our dog in (Rosie travelled with us from the UK originally and now was returning with us) and I started to get paranoid about carry syringes onto a plane (we had a Doctors note but still was worried) All went well, the flight was uneventful and a big thank you to the Air Stwerdess who curtained off an area so I could drop my pants and have HB inject my butt in the middle of a full 747!

Arrival in the UK was not so uneventful. Our paperwork was not in order for Rosie and she was to be sent to quarantine for 3 months. She was immunized against Rabies and had continually been since before leaving the UK. She had a blood test to show the vaccine levels were sufficient but the blood test needed to be 6 months before travelling (ours had been 3 months before) Didn't these government people know I was pregnant and had hormones raging out of control and that this sort of upset was not what I needed 'in my condition'!!!!!!! Tears didn't work and there was nothing we could do. It put a real downer on our homecoming!

Next step was to break the news to the HBs Mum and Dad about Rosie (who they were going to dog-sit) and the pregnancy. I think the shock of it all was too much - I don't think they registered any of it! It's OK, plenty of time for everything to sink in over the coming months.

So what do I do next with the pregnancy? For those from the UK you would have an understanding of the NHS, you'd know that I have to register. Problem is we're living in Windsor temporarily and will be moving to Warwick during summer. I can't register with the doctors and midwife in Warwick who will be there when the baby arrives - because we don't live there yet! Now I'm feeling really alone. I don't know what to do. I don't even 'feel' pregnant. What if it has stopped? After all, even though I know the egg comes from a 21yo I'm still in my forties and have never been pregnant before. Maybe I can't carry a child? Why is it that the questions that run through my mind are all negative worst case scenarios?????

Fortunately the NHS came through. I registered as a temporary patient in Windsor. I was able to see a midwife straightaway. They let me talk about all of my concerns and were fabulously reassuring. They also recommended another ultrasound - just to be sure!

So on May 16 (9 weeks) I had another ultrasound and there was Blobby, bigger and better than before with a belting heartbeat, right size, right place - picture perfect. Well not actually picture perfect, once again I was blubbering so much the sonographer couldn't get a decent picture because of my heaving sobs.

From that time all has been pretty unventful. HB and I are waiting with baited breath to complete on the purchase of our house. And I've started this blog. So the next entries are going to be shorter, I want to try and capture what I am feeling and thinking. I'm not very good at this sort of thing having never been able to keep a diary or the like, but let's see how we go. So that's where we've been..... heres to where we are going!